Glossary
of Humorous Computer Terms
BIT: A word used to describe
computers, as in "My computer cost quite a it."
BOOT: What your friends want to give you because you spend so much
time ragging about your computer.
BUG: What your eyes do after you've been staring at the computer screen
for ore than five hours.
CHIPS: The fattening food computer user eat, to avoid leaving their
keyboards even for meals.
COPY: What your son has to do at school because he spends more time
at the computer than studying.
CURSOR: What you turn into when your computer goes haywire, as in
"You ~#~a/o&4% computer!"
DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard
for five hours at a stretch.
DUMP: Where all your former hobbies wind up after you install your
computer.
ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom
to "just look."
EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you built on to your home for your computer
and all its peripherals.
FILE: What your secretary does to her nails all day long, now that
the computer does her work.
FLOPPY: The condition of a computer user's stomach due to lack of
exercise and a steady diet of junk food.
HARDWARE: Tools, lawnmowers and rakes you haven't laid a finger on,
since getting your computer.
IBM: The missile your family members would like to drop on your computer
to have your attention again.
MENU: What you wont see again after buying a computer because you'll
be too poor to eat in a restaurant.
MONITOR: Those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass
at school.
PROGRAMS: What you read to see what was on your television before
you got hooked on computers.
RAM: What you instinctively do to the side of your computer when it's
not doing what it should.
RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers after only a week
and a half.
TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and really good
deals on hot computers.
WINDOW: What you heave your computer out of.
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